Sex, Intimacy & Confidence: Reclaiming Your Sexual Health in Midlife
Anna Harrelson • March 30, 2025

 It’s time to rewrite the narrative: Your pleasure, your body, your health—at every age.

Let’s start with this: there is nothing shameful or trivial about wanting a healthy sex life.

If you're in your 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond and wondering where your libido went, why sex feels different (or uncomfortable), or why no one ever warned you about vaginal dryness, you’re not alone. And you’re not imagining it.

At Wondercreek Health, I talk to people every week who feel confused, dismissed, or ashamed about the sexual changes happening in their bodies. Many are thriving in every other area of life—careers, caregiving, health—but when it comes to intimacy, they feel stuck or unseen.

So let’s say this together: sexual health is part of whole-person health.

And pleasure is not optional. It’s a reflection of nervous system safety, hormonal balance, connection, and self-awareness. It belongs to you.

What Happens to Sexual Health in Midlife and Beyond?

Hormonal shifts during perimenopause and menopause can affect every part of your sexual experience. But so can chronic stress, birth control, antidepressants, trauma, and the weight of daily responsibilities. This is never just one thing.

Common symptoms include:
  • Vaginal dryness, burning, or itching (genitourinary syndrome of menopause, or GSM)
  • Pain with sex (dyspareunia)
  • Loss of libido or arousal
  • Less intense or harder-to-reach orgasms
  • Urinary urgency or UTIs
  • Pelvic floor tension or dysfunction
These changes aren’t "just in your head" and they’re not a moral failure. They reflect real shifts in tissue, blood flow, hormones, and brain chemistry.

Sex Isn’t Just for Someone Else’s Benefit

Let’s say the quiet part out loud: many of us were raised to believe that sex was about someone else's pleasure. That we should be desirable, responsive, available—regardless of how we felt. That conditioning runs deep.

But sex isn’t about performance. It’s about connection, intimacy, and pleasure—for you.

Pleasure is your birthright.

Intimacy can be tender, playful, spiritual, or wild—but it should never feel like pressure.

Your desire may look different than someone else's, and that’s okay.

This is true whether your partner is male, female, nonbinary, or you're navigating intimacy solo. There is no one-size-fits-all experience.

Why Your Desire Might Feel "Off"

Sexual changes can happen at any age.
  • Oral contraceptives (OCPs) can suppress libido by lowering free testosterone.
  • SSRIs and other antidepressants are well known to impact arousal and orgasm.
  • Perimenopause often starts in the mid-30s, long before you notice hot flashes.
  • Chronic stress and the mental load of caregiving, multitasking, and decision fatigue can leave no room for desire.
Because here’s the reality: desire doesn’t live in your genitals. It starts in your brain. And when your brain is overloaded with to-dos, responsibilities, or unspoken resentment, it’s nearly impossible to shift into a space of curiosity, connection, and arousal.

Unwinding the mind can be hard. For some of us, it means learning to use tools like mindfulness, breathwork, somatic practices, therapy, or just having space and time away from the demands of the world. Creating room for desire isn’t selfish. It’s a form of self-trust and reclamation.

The Good News: This Is Treatable

Sexual health doesn’t have to decline just because estrogen does. There are safe, effective, empowering ways to reconnect with your body and reclaim your pleasure.

1. Local vaginal estrogen (or DHEA or testosterone):
  • Restores tissue health, lubrication, and blood flow
  • Improves comfort, arousal, and pelvic health
  • Safe for most people, even those with a history of breast cancer (with appropriate guidance)

2. Systemic hormone therapy:
  • Can improve libido, mood, sleep, and confidence
  • Testosterone therapy (when indicated) can support arousal and orgasm

3. Pelvic floor physical therapy:
  • Addresses pain, tension, and coordination issues
  • Supports better sensation and comfort

4. Nervous system regulation:
  • Practices like breathwork, somatic therapy, or trauma-informed care help shift from "fight or flight" into connection
  • When the nervous system feels safe, desire can return

5. Sex therapy or coaching:
  • Helps explore personal blocks, relationship dynamics, and pleasure mapping

Let’s Talk About Desire

You might notice you don’t feel spontaneous desire anymore—but that doesn’t mean you’re broken. For many people, responsive desire (desire that follows arousal) becomes the norm in midlife. And it’s perfectly valid.

Touch, connection, and intimacy may need more warming up. But your ability to experience pleasure is still intact—and it can grow deeper, richer, and more grounded as you reconnect with your body on your own terms.

Final Thoughts
  • You don’t need to be fixed.
  • You deserve to be heard.
  • You deserve to feel good in your body.

Sexual health is not about keeping up with anyone else’s timeline or expectations. It’s about reclaiming what intimacy and connection mean to you in this season of life.

At Wondercreek Health, I’m here to help you connect the dots, reduce shame, and support you with science-backed, judgment-free options that honor your experience.

Because this is not the end of your sexual story. It might just be the beginning of the most powerful chapter yet.

WonderCreek Health Blog

By Anna Harrelson July 12, 2025
You know how people say, "Just drink some water and take a magnesium supplement" like it’s the answer to everything? Well… they’re not totally wrong. But like most good advice, the devil is in the details. Magnesium is one of the most essential minerals in the body, involved in over 300 enzymatic reactions , yet it remains one of the most commonly overlooked deficiencies in midlife women. And no, your annual bloodwork probably didn’t catch it. So What Does Magnesium Actually Do? Think of magnesium as a multitasking background assistant—it keeps the lights on and the gears turning across nearly every body system: Brain & Mood: Regulates GABA and NMDA receptors, supporting calm, focus, and resilience against anxiety and overstimulation. Muscles: Prevents cramping and twitching, supports strength and recovery, and reduces restless legs. Sleep: Plays a role in melatonin production and nervous system regulation. Bowel Function: Helps pull water into the colon to prevent constipation. Cardiovascular Health: Regulates blood pressure and helps with vasodilation. Hormone Balance: Assists in estrogen metabolism and combats insulin resistance. In short: if you’re exhausted, bloated, moody, foggy, tense, or irregular in your gut or cycle—magnesium deserves a spot on your radar. Why Is Magnesium So Important in Midlife? Estrogen and progesterone both influence magnesium levels. As hormone levels decline or fluctuate during perimenopause and menopause, so does your ability to retain and utilize magnesium. Add to that: Chronic stress (which depletes magnesium) Modern diets (often low in magnesium-rich whole foods) Medications like PPIs, diuretics, or certain antibiotics High caffeine, sugar, or alcohol intake (all increase magnesium excretion) And suddenly, a " borderline magnesium issue " becomes a perfect storm. Why Your Blood Test Might Not Show It Serum magnesium tests only reflect ~1% of total body magnesium. Most magnesium is stored in bone and tissue. So it’s very possible to have "normal labs" and still be clinically deficient. In practice, we go by symptoms, risk factors, and therapeutic response. Common Signs of Suboptimal Magnesium Trouble falling or staying asleep Anxiety or nervous system overactivation Fatigue or burnout that doesn’t resolve with rest Muscle cramps, spasms, or eye twitches Constipation Menstrual migraines or tension headaches Joint stiffness or tightness Sugar cravings or blood sugar crashes Best Food Sources of Magnesium Magnesium-rich foods include: Dark leafy greens (spinach, chard) Nuts and seeds (especially pumpkin seeds and almonds) Avocados Legumes Dark chocolate (yes, really!) Whole grains like quinoa and oats That said, many of us still fall short even with a healthy diet, especially during high-stress seasons or if absorption is impaired. Supplements: Which Type of Magnesium Is Best? Not all magnesium is created equal. Here are the forms we most often recommend: Magnesium Glycinate: Best for sleep, anxiety, and muscle relaxation. Gentle on the stomach.** Magnesium Citrate: Useful for constipation, but can cause loose stools at higher doses. Magnesium Threonate: May support cognitive function and brain health. Magnesium Malate: Good for energy and muscle pain, often used in fibromyalgia. We generally avoid magnesium oxide unless constipation is the only concern, as it’s poorly absorbed. **Mag Glycinate is generally my go to recommendation and what we take at our house Also, BLENDS can be good- but generally more expensive Dosing & Timing Most women benefit from 200–400 mg daily, depending on needs. Take it in the evening if you're targeting sleep or relaxation. Divide doses if taking more than 300 mg (e.g. AM + PM). Always start low and go slow, especially with citrate forms to avoid urgent bathroom visits. Final Thoughts If magnesium had better marketing, it would be a top-tier wellness darling. But because it’s quiet, essential, and boring on paper, we tend to overlook it. Yet for so many midlife women, magnesium is the missing link that helps all the other systems and strategies finally click. So if you're doing "everything right" and still feel off? It might be time to start taking magnesium!
By Anna Harrelson July 12, 2025
"Is Ozempic safe?" "Do I have to be diabetic to use it?" "Will I regain weight if I stop?" "I eat well, lift weights, sleep, take hormones—and I still can't lose weight. What's going on?" These are some of the most common questions I hear from women in midlife. And they’re incredibly valid. For decades, the conversation around weight and health has been riddled with shame, assumptions, and surface-level advice. But we’re finally shifting into a new era—one that recognizes obesity as a chronic, complex disease, not a personal failure. One that looks at metabolism through the lens of hormones, inflammation, genetics, stress, and brain chemistry, not just calories in and out. And at the center of this shift is an exciting class of medications known as GLP-1 receptor agonists. What Are GLP-1 Medications? GLP-1 stands for glucagon-like peptide-1, a hormone your body naturally produces in the gut. It helps regulate blood sugar, insulin, and satiety (your sense of fullness). GLP-1s also slow gastric emptying and signal your brain to reduce appetite. Medications like semaglutide (Ozempic, Wegovy), liraglutide (Saxenda, Victoza), and tirzepatide (Mounjaro) mimic this hormone and have been revolutionary for treating type 2 diabetes—and more recently, for metabolic syndrome and obesity. These drugs are not stimulants or fad diet tools. They are hormone-based medications with powerful metabolic and anti-inflammatory effects. Why Are GLP-1s So Relevant for Midlife Women? Midlife is a time of massive hormonal transition. Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone levels shift dramatically in perimenopause and menopause. This impacts insulin sensitivity, body composition, lipid metabolism, sleep, inflammation, and brain function. Even women who have optimized their lifestyle—dialing in nutrition, strength training, sleep, and hormone therapy—may find themselves stuck. GLP-1 medications can be the missing piece for women who: Have insulin resistance or prediabetes that isn’t budging with lifestyle alone Carry weight disproportionately in the visceral (abdominal) area Are at increased cardiovascular risk due to family history, labs, or existing conditions Are experiencing significant inflammation or joint pain related to metabolic dysfunction Have a history of PCOS or gestational diabetes Are postmenopausal and noticing rapid changes in weight or metabolism These medications work synergistically with hormone therapy and can reduce inflammation, improve insulin sensitivity, and help shift body composition. For some women, they are as life-changing as starting estrogen. It’s Not Just About Weight Loss GLP-1s are being studied for NAFLD (fatty liver), cardiovascular protection, neurodegenerative disease, PCOS, and even addiction and mood regulation. The benefits go far beyond the scale. That said, when stubborn weight is a major barrier to living fully—whether due to physical discomfort, comorbidities, or psychological toll—helping a woman reduce weight safely and effectively can open the door to movement, joy, and hope. So, Who Should Consider a GLP-1? I don’t believe in prescribing these meds as a first-line for someone who hasn’t addressed the basics. That’s not judgment—it’s strategy. If you haven’t worked on: Blood sugar balance through real food Resistance training and daily movement Addressing sleep and circadian rhythms Managing stress and nervous system regulation Optimizing hormones, micronutrients, and gut health … then you’re not giving yourself the best shot at lasting change. But if you have done the work and still feel like your body is working against you—or you have serious metabolic risk factors— then GLP-1 therapy might be a wise and evidence-based next step. Some women use it briefly to reset. Others may need it long-term, just like hormone therapy. It’s not a crutch. It’s a tool. And for the right woman, it can be life-changing. Common Questions I Hear "Will I gain the weight back if I stop?" Maybe—but not always. If the lifestyle foundations are in place, many women maintain progress even after discontinuing. But some women have chronic conditions that benefit from ongoing use. That’s not failure—that’s biology. "Are there side effects?" Yes. The most common are nausea, constipation, or bloating early on. Starting slow, staying hydrated, and eating smaller portions helps. Rare but serious risks exist, including pancreatitis. A good clinician will walk you through these carefully. "Will I lose muscle?" You can—unless you’re strength training and eating enough protein. We talk a lot about this at Wondercreek. Protecting lean muscle is critical. "Is this forever?" Not necessarily. Some women use these meds to reduce inflammation, restore insulin sensitivity, and break a cycle. Others stay on them longer due to underlying metabolic dysfunction. Every plan is individualized. Final Thoughts GLP-1 medications aren’t for everyone. But they are not cheating, shameful, or lazy. They’re a legitimate, science-based treatment for a serious, chronic condition. In my practice, we focus on healthspan—not just lifespans. That means preserving function, preventing disease, and helping you feel energized, sharp, and resilient for as long as possible. For some women, GLP-1 therapy is one of the most powerful tools we have to get there.